6:02 Oh, Seacrest. I've missed you, you elegant bastard.
6:03 Jennifer Lawrence looks beautiful - a little casual for the Oscars and exactly like ScarJo's a couple years ago, but still beautiful - but I wish she was a better interview.
6:12 Melissa Leo's dress is baaaad. Really curious to see if she'll pull off a win tonight after those horrendous ads.
6:15 "He did his award show and he bombed!" -James Franco on Ricky Gervais. Awesome. Awesome, awesome, awesome. James Franco will get the Oscar tonight for "Best Example of Guilelessness." Saying what everyone's thinking (in a way that is somehow not vicious): my favorite thing about him.
6:32 Wait, are they not allowing Giuliana on the red carpet this year? She's been stuck up in that "fashion sky box" since 6 PM...
6:33 Hooray, Russell Brand! With his mum! WAIT! "Perhaps I'll kiss you," he says, and kisses Ryan on the cheek. (No, I'm not kidding.) It's Christian Bale syndrome - when everything looks like it's gone swimmingly, he does something completely inappropriate and genius. I actually met Russell Brand this past summer and I'm happy to report he is exactly like this in real life.
6:36 Michelle Williams always looks so delicate. Like if someone was speaking next to her too loudly she might break.
6:40 Amy Adams keeps saying how nervous she is, and it's incredibly endearing.
6:52 Jesse Eisenberg!! I just yelped. Is it just me, or does it look like it would be kind of easy to sneak into the Oscars? It's obviously not, but I feel like if I just showed up in a gown and started waving to fans confidently...
7:00 Kevin Spacey's advice to Jeremy Renner: "Just have fun, and find the bar as quickly as you can."
7:03 Loving Scarlett Johansson's hair. But not her dress.
7:09 JT! I saw a music video of his on TV this morning and for a split second was like Oh yeaaah, Justin Timberlake was a pop star! Crazy. Justin, mission accomplished.
7:13 Why is Oprah presenting tonight? GO AWAY, OPRAH.
7:20 Eleanna text when Helena Bonham Carter showed up: "I killed Sirius Black."
7:21 I just screamed as if I was being murdered upon seeing Andrew Garfield. Have I really become this person?
7:26 Off topic and I don't really care, but Justin Timberlake no longer brings Jessica Biel to awards shows. Like, not one this whole season. Hmmmm.
7:27 Christian Bale! He looks so happy and he won't let go of his wife's hand. I melt.
7:34 Gwennie, you can do better than that dress. But God, is she gorgeous. She really, really is. It's almost inhuman.
7:38 Christian Bale, on whether or not his family gets concerned about his commitment to his roles: "They know I'm a stubborn git."
7:40 Sandra Bullock in red. Yawn. Do these people's stylists talk to each other beforehand? They should. Everyone's in red!
7:44 RDJ posing, I guess, for the crowd? I don't know. Doing something great with his face.
8:03 E! Preshow is over for some reason, so I've switched to ABC. Just in times for James Franco! Already inside the Kodak Theater, chilling in a chair.
8:05 Bwahahahahaaa, he just started laughing to himself at a joke he made that the interviewer didn't understand. Maybe an inside joke with himself. I have those.
8:38 That opening lost steam a couple minutes in. Reaction shots. Everyone is smiling. Because they can't not. It's James Franco!
8:40 This is awkwardly un-funny. Why are they doing this weird family thing? Wait, the Marky Mark joke is funny. Mark, throw something.
8:57 Melissa Leo wins for Best Supporting Actress. Well deserved. Those ads, though, woman...you got lucky!
8:58 Helena Bonham Carter must have practiced her nice face in the mirror after the Golden Globes.
8:59 Melissa Leo just dropped the F bomb. Helloooo.
9:01 Ugh, that was a little overzealous. She stole Kirk Douglas' cane as if she was so shocked she couldn't walk. Anne Hathaway continues to be un-funny.
9:02 "I'm Banksy." That was good! That was good.
9:13 What's with the white tuxes, men?
9:15 Sorkin wins for Best Adapted Screenplay, of course. Who is that blonde next to him? Where is Chenoweth? Oh, Jesse gets up to hug him, and I might lose it. "For my mom and dad, who made a life for me so I could be a part of nights like this." Beautiful, but we expect nothing less.
9:20 The King's Speech screenwriter, who just won for Best Original Screenplay: "The writer's speech. This is terrifying." Hah! He dedicates the award to all the stutterers of the world. "We have a voice, we have been heard." Tremendous.
9:25 James Franco in a dress. I am not surprised.
9:29 Reese Witherspoon, that happens to be Julia Roberts' dress and hair from the year she won Best Actress.
9:32 Mark Ruffalo thanks the camera. So gracious. And Christian Bale wins, thank goodness. First words of his acceptance speech: "Bloody hell." He starts crying as he thanks his wife. "I didn't think I was like this!" Please, more awards for Christian Bale in the future.
9:42 Pretty sure the awards are now boring until about 11:30. This is why the Golden Globes is the best show of awards season. Any way! Just went over to the Jezebel liveblog, and there was this gem: "Justin Timberlake is not Banksy. We would believe it if James Franco claimed to be Banksy, but not JT. Sorry." YES. FRANCO IS BANSKY. Note to self: start this rumor.
9:45 David Fincher getting lots of shout outs tonight, as he should be. His daughter is beautiful!
10:02 It's Kevin Spacey! With a George Clooney joke! And Mandy Moore looking pretty!
10:09 Wait a minute, that's Adrien Brody singing in a Stella Artois ad. Whaaat?
10:18 WAIT, WHAT IS THIS? THIS IS HILARIOUS!
10:20 That was just the best thing to ever happen to the Oscars. Auto-tuning.
10:40 Is Banksy there tonight? Or did he just skip out on the whole thing?
10:43 I don't have time to check it out, but apparently James Franco is real-time tweeting this whole thing, complete with backstage pictures and videos. Who knew he'd like Twitter so much? He joined like a week ago and tweets more than I do.
10:44 Gwenyth in a new dress! I like it.
10:52 That Randy Newman award just reminded me I haven't listened to the Ragtime soundtrack in a while. Just in time for me to mute Celine Dion and play "Back to Before"!
11:02 Catherine Bigelow! Hooray! Where might you be, James Cameron? Somewhere far away, I hope, feeling sorry for yourself. As you were.
11:03 Weeeelll, I now understand why Elvis shot so many of his TV sets. Fincher just lost Best Director - went to Tom Hooper for The King's Speech instead. A ridiculous snub, and one that does not bode well for Social Network's Best Picture chances.
11:11 I love how James Franco is just as annoyed with Anne Hathaway as I am.
11:16 Even Natalie doesn't look surprised when she wins (for Best Actress, if you've been living under a rock).
11:19 Play her offffff!
11:20 Weird to see Sandra up there after what happen after last year's Oscars. Someone on Jezebel after the clip of Michelle Williams: "CREEK FOREVER.
11:23 The visible and audible love for Jesse Eisenberg just made up (if only a little) for the Fincher snub. A huge round of applause, and a shot of Justin Timberlake looking so excited for him.
11:24 HAH, the shot of James Franco backstage. I don't know what's up with James Franco tonight. He's too weird for this stuff.
11:25 Colin Firth. Time for a charming, British speech!
11:30 Well, less charming than I expected. He seemed a little scattered. But I couldn't care less. Mr. Darcy has his Oscar..
11:35 Yes! Shot of Andrew smashing Jesse's laptop.
11:36 Biggest applause for True Grit, The Social Network, and Toy Story 3. But Best Picture goes to The King's Speech. Ughhhhhhhh. Someone get me Fincher's reaction shot. I'm going to make it my profile picture.
11:37 Well, I don't need to stick around for this acceptance speech. Goodnight, you princes and princesses, and thank you for reading. I appreciate it more than I can say. The next and only legitimate awards show (besides the Globes) is the Emmys in September (TV! TV! TV!), so we have that to look forward to. Oscars, I'm shaking my head.
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