Let's talk about the Golden Globe noms

Or, if we're taking the dramatic route here, let's talk about the travesty that was the Golden Globe noms. (It all began with she-devil Sofia Vergara as announcer.) There's nothing I love more than being negative about the Academy, the Screen Actors Guild, what have you -- but really, I like the Hollywood Foreign Press! I love the boozy fun that is the Golden Globes! Usually they nominate okay(ish) people. But the snubs this year -- they're unavoidable and in a way, kind of unbelievable. Let's take a look.

Best Picture, Drama
War Horse
Ides of March
The Help
Moneyball
Hugo
The Descendants

Really excited for Hugo. So innovative, and one of the few films I can think of in the past 10 or so years that's equally watchable for kids and adults. (Plus, it's Marty!) That's really the only good thing I have to say about this category. First, War Horse doesn't hit theaters until Christmas day, but I saw the stage version and it was so bad I left half way through. Not even mildly interesting. Even if the film is 100 times better, it's King's Speech-style Oscar bait. There's no substance behind the swelling music. Same with The Help and Moneyball -- predictable, awards show fodder. As for Ides of March, it was a letdown -- there's already one Clooney vehicle on the list, the fantastic Descendants -- they should have eliminated Ides of March, kept The Descendants, and had five nominees like every single other category. Films that should be included but are not: Girl With the Dragon Tattoo...Shame...Beginners...Drive...and I would have loved to see Harry Potter in there as well -- as this awards season is its last -- but no such luck.

Best Picture, Comedy
The Artist
50/50
Bridesmaids
My Week With Marilyn
Midnight in Paris

I'm actually happy with this category other than My Week With Marilyn, and that's because there's nothing I hate more in the world than Hollywood's obsession with Marilyn Monroe. If they made a movie about Marilyn Monroe that starred Heidi Montag as Marilyn, it would get nominated for an Oscar because it would be about Marilyn. It's tired. We all get that she was beautiful and talented and died too young, right? Okay! Let's move on! If I see one more young starlet referencing her as a role model or one more Vanity Fair cover promising to reveal Marilyn's secrets...I'll lose it. I mean. I've lost it already.

Best Actor, Drama
George Clooney, The Descendants
Brad Pitt, Moneyball
Leonardo DiCaprio, J. Edgar
Ryan Gosling, Ides of March
Michael Fassbender, Shame

I may or may not have shed a tear or two when I saw the Fassbender nom. Obviously if you've read one post -- one sentence -- of this blog before you know I'm a huge fan, but really, the nom is just so vindicating, so deserved. If you haven't seen anything Fassbender's been in yet, you need to go to his IMDb and figure yourself OUT. Props to Clooney for the Descendants nom -- maybe he'll finally realize he doesn't always have to play himself? The Brad Pitt nom is understandable, but still, his performance was strangely similar to his in Troy a few years back, what with all the emotions and the close-ups. Look at me, pondering. Look at me, throwing a table. Look at me, acting. Maybe it's not even him -- maybe it's that his being in the public eye so much makes it impossible for us to forget he's The Brad Pitt when we watch him in a movie. DiCaprio is, as usual, completely deserving of his nom -- and it's about time too, so here's hoping it'll be his year. About Gosling -- again, he was better in Drive. Would've liked to seen Ewan McGregor in that spot for Beginners or the brilliant Michael Shannon in the spot for Take Shelter instead.

Best Actress, Drama
Viola Davis, The Help
Meryl Streep, The Iron Lady
Tilda Swinton, We Need To Talk About Kevin
Rooney Mara, The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo
Glenn Close, Albert Nobbs

Right on to Viola and Meryl. Viola is fantastic, and Meryl goes without saying. Meryl should win it but won't, because everyone thinks she's won everything so she always gets shut out. (She's actually only won two Oscars -- but let's be honest, she's deserved to win all 16 she's been nominated for.) This will go to Glenn Close -- it's an incredible performance, and the film itself will be studied in Gender Identity classes for years to come. Tilda Swinton is one-note, so no thank you, and you all know how I feel about my number one girl crush, Rooney -- I'm almost as excited for her as I am for Fass. (And not just because I love her. The performance was worthy of the nomination.) Not good news, however, for Elizabeth Olsen, who was an early favorite for Martha Marcy May Marlene. Had the studio released the film a few months later, she would have been a shoo-in.

Best Actor, Comedy
Jean Dujardin, The Artist
Brendan Gleeson, The Guard
Owen Wilson, Midnight in Paris
Joseph Gorden-Levitt, 50/50
Ryan Gosling, Crazy Stupid Love

No matter how much I loved Crazy, Stupid, Love and Midnight in Paris, Gosling and Wilson didn't really stretch their acting legs in their respective films. (That's me being kind. They played themselves.) I'm thrilled that JGL was recognized, but that's my inner fangirl -- my outer, more knowledgeable self knows it should and will go to either Gleeson or Dujardin.

Best Actress, Comedy
Michelle Williams, My Week With Marilyn
Jodie Foster, Carnage
Kristin Wiig, Bridesmaids
Charlize Theron, Young Adults
Kate Winslet, Carnage

Of course, I'm the most excited for the two underdogs here, Wiig and Theron. Theron has already had her time to shine, so she won't get it, and Wiig will get shut out by the big-name actresses in the category. Speaking of big names, is there one award Kate Winslet hasn't been nominated for in the past 10 years? I mean that -- she just needs a Tony to get the EGOT. As for Carnage, again, strange enough, I saw the stage and not the film version, and again, I thought it was awful. I can't speak to the film, but it's a real actor-y project, big on dramatics and choices, so I wouldn't be surprised if Winslet or Foster took it home. If the vote is split between the two -- or if everyone indulges in their Marilyn obsession as usual -- it'll go to Michelle Williams, who should have won for Blue Valentine last year in the first place.

Best Supporting Actor
Albert Brooks, Drive
Christopher Plummer, Beginners
Kenneth Branagh, My Week With Marilyn
Jonah Hill, Moneyball
Viggo Mortensen, A Dangerous Method

This will go to Plummer -- as one Gawker commenter said, "legend + no wins + playing gay = gold." (He deserves it any way.) Would've liked to see Eddie Redmayne in here for My Week With Marilyn instead of Branagh, but still, it's good to see Viggo Mortensen back on the scene, as well as Jonah Hill getting some attention for his serious (and seriously good) turn in Moneyball.

Best Supporting Actress
Berenice Bejo, The Artist
Octavia Spencer, The Help
Jessica Chastain, The Help
Shailene Woodley, The Descendants
Janet McTeer, Albert Nobbs

So here's where the snubs really start. This is because, as you may have noticed, the HFPA doesn't split up the "supporting actor/actress" categories into Comedy and Drama, so people tend to get shut out. That's probably why Melissa McCarthy -- the real star of Bridesmaids -- wasn't nominated, but Kristin Wiig was. Not enough room for McCarthy in a category of strong dramatic performances. Would love to see this go to Jessica Chastain, but I think it'll go to Octavia. Also, cool to see Shailene Woodley get some recognition. She's fantastic. I think this means it's about time for her to leave Secret Life behind.

Best Director
Martin Scorsese, Hugo
George Clooney, Ides of March
Michael Hazanavicius, The Artist
Alexander Payne, The Descendants
Woody Allen, Midnight in Paris

Would be happy to see anyone but Clooney go home with this award, as they were all incredibly strong movies with the exception of Ides of March. This doesn't look good for Fincher's chances at the Oscars for directing The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, or for Steve McQueen's for directing Shame, as both were excluded from the category. As usual, likely because both films (as a whole) are just too edgy and divisive for awards season.

Best TV Series, Drama
American Horror Story
Boardwalk Empire
Boss
Game of Thrones
Homeland

What is this category? Really, what is it? American Horror Story? Boardwalk Empire? Boss? The fact that Breaking Bad isn't in here isn't frustrating just because I'm a fan -- it's frustrating because it simply deserves to be -- way before AHS, a Ryan Murphy-hot mess-pet project in its first season, and way before Boardwalk Empire, the most grossly overrated show in a long, long time. Breaking Bad is the best show on TV, and that's not really something that people argue about. They just accept that it's a fact. Otherwise, happy to see Game of Thrones and Homeland in there.

Best TV Series, Comedy
New Girl
Enlightened
Episodes
Glee
Modern Family

Again, not quite sure what the voters were thinking here. It's dumbfounding. No Parks & Recreation? No Community? Glee instead of the aforementioned two? What version of Glee are these voters watching? Modern Family was a given, good to see Enlightened get some attention, and for some reason, Episodes keeps squeezing its way in there. The real surprise here is New Girl, which is probably my favorite show of the season. If you're not watching, maybe Schmidt's online dating profile will convince you?

Best Actor, Drama
Steve Buscemi, Boardwalk Empire
Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad
Kelsey Grammer, Boss
Jeremy Irons, The Borgias
Damian Lewis, Homeland

These are all well and good, and I'll let Buscemi slide as long as he doesn't win this year. If it doesn't go to Cranston, again -- something really is seriously wrong with the voters. (As if that isn't clear already.) He's a genius and I know I overuse the word, but in this case, it's just true. Yikes to no Hugh Laurie nod -- that's the first time he's been snubbed since House began eight years ago. That bathtub scene in "After Hours" had us all on our knees -- Yaitanes said it even had crew members crying behind the camera on set -- if all was right in the world, it should have made his nomination a no-brainer. But House has just become such a bad show over the past few years -- it looks like not even Laurie's acting can get voters to ignore that.

Best Actress, Drama
Claire Danes, Homeland
Mireille Enos, The Killing
Julianna Margulies, The Good Wife
Madeleine Stowe, Revenge
Callie Thorne, Necessary Roughness

So weird. So weird! These noms are Emmy-style strange. The Good Wife and Homeland noms were to be expected, but the rest are just confusing. First of all, if they were going to nominate someone from The Killing, it should have been Joel Kinnaman in the Best Supporting Actor category, who makes the show -- not Enos, who drags it down. Secondly, Madeleine Stowe is fantastic (if only she'd ease upon the Botox, and I say that lovingly!), but she is a supporting character. The lead is Emily VanCamp; that's pretty clear to anyone that watches the show. As far as Callie Thorne...I mean, it makes me want to throw in the towel. Wasn't there anyone (anyone!) else?!

Best Actor, Comedy
Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock
David Duchovny, Californication
Johnny Galecki, The Big Bang Theory
Thomas Jane, Hung
Matt LeBlanc, Episodes

Again with the love for Episodes! All these noms are pretty expected (with the exception of no Jim Parsons -- have people finally gotten sick of him?), but would have loved for Joel McHale to have been in there.

Best Actress, Comedy
Tina Fey, 30 Rock
Amy Poehler, Parks & Recreation
Laura Dern, Enlightened
Zooey Deschanel, New Girl
Laura Linney, The Big C

Solid category. Happy to see the Poehler love.

Best TV-Movie or Miniseries
Mildred Pierce
Too Big To Fail
Cinema Verite
Downton Abbey
The Hour

Again, a solid category with the exception of the exclusion of Sherlock. UGH.

Best Actor, TV-Movie or Miniseries
William Hurt, Too Big To Fail
Hugh Bonneville, Downton Abbey
Idris Elba, Luther
Bill Nighy, Page Eight
Dominic West, Appropriate Adult

And again, another solid category with the exception of no Benedict Cumberbatch nom for Sherlock. But it's good to see Elba in there. Also, how great is Bill Nighy's staying power? He's a legend at this point. What else...strange that Dominic West was nominated for Appropriate Adult and not The Hour, but so be it.

Supporting Actor, TV-Movie or Miniseries
Peter Dinklage, Game of Thrones
Paul Giamatti, Too Big To Fail
Guy Pearce, Mildred Pierce
Tim Robbins, Cinema Verite
Eric Stonestreet, Modern Family

This is my least favorite category because again, they combine not only the dramas and the comedies, but also TV movies, miniseries and weekly shows. Like I mentioned with the supporting categories for films, that leads to a huge amount of snubs. And this is perhaps the category with the most deserving people in it and the least space for them. All of the nods here are rightly earned, but missing are countless actors that deserve it just as much: Neil Patrick Harris of How I Met Your Mother, Danny Pudi of Community, Max Greenfield of New Girl, Joel Kinnaman of The Killing, Martin Freeman of Sherlock, Ty Burrell of Modern Family, and worst, worst, worst of all, no Aaron Paul of (obviously) Breaking Bad. That for me was the biggest shock. He is that show; you watch him and you've never seen anything like him. (Courtesy of another Gawker commenter: "Did Vince Gilligan run over someone's dog with his car or something?")

Supporting Actress, TV-Movie or Miniseries
Jessica Lange, American Horror Story
Kelly Macdonald, Boardwalk Empire
Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey
Sofia Vergara, Modern Family
Evan Rachel Wood, Mildred Pierce

Good to see everyone in here but Sofia Vergara, because she doesn't act so much as she does yap. The spot should have gone to Community's Alison Brie. Also, would love to see Evan Rachel Wood win this.

Best Screenplay
Midnight in Paris
Ides of March
The Artist
The Descendants
Moneyball

Midnight in Paris for the win! One of my favorite screenplays this year. As much as I love Sorkin, I would have preferred to have seen Beginners in Moneyball's spot, or maybe Young Adult, or even 50/50...Moneyball was light on dialogue; just not a good film, not a particularly strong screenplay at all. Not sure what Ides of March is doing in there either.

The rest are just sidenotes -- hopefully Tintin wins Best Animated Feature...the Best Foreign Film and Best Original Song categories are a bore...and fingers crossed that Trent Rzenor will take home the award again for Best Score for his work on The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. See you all on January 15th for the liveblog...